Author: Brené Brown
|Braving The Wilderness (2017) is a kind of neo-self-help book that talks about true belonging. This is one of the side-by-side books you should read. Brené Brown offers a four-step process for finding true belonging through authenticity, bravery, trust, and vulnerability. It’s mostly about learning to stand alone rather than trying to fit in. She also shares some hard-earned lessons about power, grace, and compassion. Being connected to and disconnected from certain people, usually at the same time, is a requirement for creating anything new.|
In Braving The Wilderness Brown says, “Vulnerability is not weakness. Embrace vulnerability. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
We all want to belong. We all want to feel like we’re a part of something bigger than ourselves and not alone. However, in this age of social media, we’re accustomed to displaying our perfect lives on Instagram and Facebook.
Many times, instead of standing alone and learning to belong in that space, we fake it or fit in instead of standing tall and embracing who we are. That’s why so many adults struggle with finding their place in the world or feeling like they don’t belong.
When we finally learn to embrace our uniqueness, stand alone, and be brave enough to start anew, only then do we learn what it means to belong. We’re always going to be human beings which means we’re going to have feelings from time to time that is less than desirable. Sometimes it can feel like everyone around you is happy and successful, but you’re struggling. Instead of trying to fit in or prove ourselves greater than others, learning to embrace and accept where we are as individuals allow us to open the door for others to journey with us through the wilderness until we find our way home.
Braving The Wilderness Summary Key Points
Be yourself and don’t try hard to fit in
Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize rejection, fault, and failure in my life. With her delivery both humorous and heartfelt, best-selling author Brené Brown draws on her own experiences as well as the wisdom of emotional intelligence to show us how to embrace the imperfections that make us unique and live a daring life.
Deep down, you know what you want. You’ve just convinced yourself that you don’t deserve it. You’ve hidden it under a bushel basket and you’re afraid that if you look too closely at it, it will just disappear as quickly as it came. You’re holding in your hand the key to making everything you want come true. By the time we hear the word “average” in a conversation, we’ve already tuned out. The fact of the matter is, none of us is average. We’re all different and that’s the point — we each need to find our way. Fitting in by being like everyone else doesn’t serve us, no one makes you do it, and definitely,o one (or thing) is benefiting from it.
The sooner you figure out your style and formula — your truth — the better it is for you, your career, your relationships, and everything else in between. The next time someone uses that word to describe you, or something you did or said, just smile because you’re doing it right.
Trust yourself and others to build courage
There are many ways to lose trust in yourself. Trust can slip away when you lose your temper; when you say the wrong things, or do even worse things, out of anger. Wyourself you act rashly or impulsively. When your heart is wounded and you let others see it instead of keeping it safe within. Such a wound can infect your life with bitterness, cutting off parts of yourself from people around you.
Hurt people are dangerous companies: they twist the world until everyone else becomes a threat. It’s all too easy to become afraid of the danger you pose and to live in fear of doing the same to others, but regret for past actions can be a very constructive motivator.
The sed of trust is planted in six steps:
- Do what you say you will do.
- Be straightforward and clear about personal limits.
- Confess your mistakes and don’t whine about being a victim of circumstances.
- Demonstrate an ability to admit your mistakes and learn from them, without blaming others.
- Don’t act hurt or angry when your limits and mistakes are pointed out, even if you feel ill-treated at the moment. 5. Don’t hide behind your feelings when you are trying to accuse or manipulate someone else.
- Don’t make excuses for yourself when you don’t meet your standards, but accept that disappointing other happens when we fail to live up to our expectations as well as theirs.
Remember that trust is not a single action but a process, so try to follow these steps whenever possible. That way, you’ll build trust as soon as possible and give others the confidence to do business with you early on.
The second step is to reveal yourself fully and honestly, trusting that others will accept you even with all your faults, which shows belief both in yourself and the other person (step 3). This requires trust in yourself that you can handle whatever others decide to say about you and enough confidence in the other person’s goodwill that they will consider your own needs while judging you.
Use your anger to become a better person, not bitter
I get angry. Everyone gets angry. It’s part of being a human. When something happens that pisses me off, I like to ask two questions:
- What am I angry about?
- How can I use this to grow and make positive change?
Let’s get some things straight: I’m angry.
I’m angry at everyone who believes the color of your skin or where you come from determines your potential.
I’m angry at everyone who tells us that we aren’t good enough, smart enough, or fast enough.
I’m angry at your teachers for showing you that nothing is possible.
I’m angry at your parents for telling you to be scared of everything.
I’m angry at the government for withholding opportunities from the people it was built to protect.
I’m angry at the corporations for creating a work environment designed to make sure you fail. And I’m angry that our society systematically allows this to continue.
But I refuse to let anger change me. I refuse to let anger change who I am in the world and what I do with my life and my family. That being said, here are 5 ways to turn anger into bitterness so it doesn’t overtake you like it has many others before you.
Braving The Wilderness Quotes
“You are only free when you realize you belong no place—you belong every place—no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.” –Brené Brown
“But what we know now is that when we deny our emotion, it owns us. When we own our emotion, we can rebuild and find our way through the pain.” –Brené Brown
Braving The Wilderness Review
This book is a straightforward author and describes the process of change with different inspiring and motivating stories. Her books are honest and raw that you can pick up what you want but you may feel you are not on the right every time. Recommended.
To whom I would recommend Braving The Wilderness Summary?
- A student who is going to play in different games at high school.
- Is anyone scared to do something new?
- Anyone who becomes bitter while angry.