Getting Past No Summary – December 2022

Author: William Ury 

Short Summary
Getting Past No (1991) is a book about how to negotiate successfully. The author, William Ury, provides strategies for dealing with difficult people and situations. He teaches readers how to find common ground, build relationships, and create win-win solutions. The book is full of useful strategies for getting past no and getting what you want in a negotiation. The book is also full of real-life examples of people who have used these strategies to get past no and get what they wanted.
getting past no

Detailed Summary

We’ve all been there- stuck in a painful and frustrating conflict with no way out. In Getting Past No, William Ury, co-founder of the Harvard Negotiation Project, offers a step-by-step strategy for breaking deadlocks and transforming adversarial relationships. Ury begins by explaining the “No Problem” Trap and how to avoid it. He then outlines the three golden rules for handling any negotiation: get the other side to play fair; separate the people from the problem; and be creative in finding mutually beneficial solutions. He teaches readers how to break through resistance and negativity so that they can achieve their goals. Ury begins by explaining the concept of the “negotiation dance.”

This is the back-and-forth process that takes place when two people are trying to agree. Each person has their agenda and tries to get the other person to dance to their tune. However, this only leads to frustration and conflict. Instead, Ury suggests that we try a different approach: what he calls “cooperative negotiation.” In cooperative negotiation, both parties work together to find a solution that meets everyone’s needs. This requires communication, patience, and a willingness to compromise. But it also leads to better outcomes for all involved. With these tools in hand, you’ll be ready for anything.

Getting Past No Summary Key Points

The basic principles for getting past no are straightforward. When you’re trying to persuade someone to do something, the first thing you need to do is get their attention. You then need to explain your position and why it’s in their best interests to agree with you. Finally, you need to be prepared to negotiate and compromise to reach an agreement. This is what we are going to discuss in this summary.

Key Point 1: The best way to persuade someone to do something is by making a strong statement that will grab their attention

You need to be patient when persuasion. If you come on too strong, the other person will get defensive and tune you out. Instead, take a step back, listen to what they have to say, and then present your case in a calm, rational way. The key to successful persuasion is understanding the other person’s point of view. Once you know where they’re coming from, you can tailor your argument to fit their needs and desires. The next step is to show them that you understand their position. If you can’t do that, you’re not going to be able to persuade them of anything. Once you’ve established common ground, it’s time to start making your case. Be clear and concise, and use evidence to back up your claims.

Finally, don’t forget to ask for what you want. If you don’t, the other person is likely to say no without even considering your proposal. If you can convince someone that what you’re asking them to do is in their best interest, then you’re more likely to succeed. Finally, don’t forget to ask for what you want. If you don’t, the other person is likely to say no without even considering your proposal. But always remember that people are ultimately rational beings, so don’t try to trick or deceive them into doing something they don’t want to do.

Key Point 2: One tactic you can use to get what you want in a negotiation is to make it easy for the other person to say yes, and compromise if necessary

We all want to feel like we’ve got the best possible deal in a negotiation. And while it’s important to advocate for what you want, it’s also important to remember that the other person is trying to do the same thing. So, making it easy for them to say yes and compromise is key. Negotiation is not a fight where someone has to lose for you to win. It’s a discussion between two people who are trying to find a mutually beneficial solution to a problem. To be successful, you need to make it easy for the other person to say yes and compromise. One way to do this is by using what’s called the concession technique. This involves making small concessions early on in the negotiation to create an atmosphere of cooperation and goodwill. These early concessions can be as simple as agreeing on minor points or giving up something that you know is not important to you.

The key is to keep the discussion focused on finding a solution that works for both of you. If you can do that, then you’ll be well on your way to a successful negotiation. This means that you should make the first offer, and it should be fair and reasonable. If they counteroffer, be willing to compromise. By doing this, you will make it easy for them to say yes, and both parties will be happy with the outcome of the negotiation.

Key Point 3: When we negotiate, we should always think about how we can find a win-win solution

In every negotiation, there are two key objectives: to come to an agreement that is satisfactory to both parties and to maintain or improve the relationship between the parties. The enlightened collaborator technique helps negotiators achieve both of these objectives by treating the negotiation as an opportunity to find a win-win solution. Both parties should enter into the negotiation with an open mind and a willingness to compromise. The goal should be to find a mutually beneficial solution, rather than trying to get the best possible outcome for oneself.

It is important to remember that the other party is also interested in finding a solution that works for them, so it is necessary to take their needs and concerns into account. By focusing on finding a win-win solution, negotiators can increase the chances of agreeing and also strengthen the relationship between them. This technique can be used in any type of negotiation, whether it is negotiating a salary raise with one’s boss or trying to resolve a dispute with a neighbor. This is the only way to maintain a constructive and positive relationship with the other party, even if an agreement cannot be reached.

Getting Past No Review

If you find yourself in a situation where you need to negotiate with someone and they are being difficult, this book is for you. William Ury has written a great book on the art of negotiation and how to get past no. He walks the reader through different scenarios and provides helpful tips on how to handle each one. I would highly recommend this book.

To Whom do we Recommend The Getting Past No Summary

  • Anyone who wants to learn more about negotiating.
  • Anyone who is looking for some guidance on how to handle tough negotiations.
  • Anyone who wants to improve their negotiation skills.

About The Author

William Ury is an American author, lawyer, and international negotiator. He is best known for his book “Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In”, which has sold over four million copies and has been translated into 39 languages. Ury has also written “The Third Side: Why We Fight and How We Can Stop”, “Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations” and “Getting Ready to Negotiate”.