Author: Harville Hendrix
Short Summary |
Getting The Love You Want (1988) offers practical exercises to help us heal those wounds and improve our relationships. It is often said that we attract what we are, and our relationships are a reflection of our emotional state. If we have unresolved childhood wounds, they will show up in our adult relationships. The focus on childhood wounds is particularly helpful, as it can help you understand why you act certain ways in your relationships. |
Detailed Summary
If you are in a relationship that is struggling, there is a good chance that you are using Freudian ideas to try and save it. According to Getting the Love, You Want: A Guide to Preserving Your Relationship When Everything Seems To Be Falling Apart, psychoanalysis can be used to help maintain a healthy relationship. This type of therapy uses ideas from Sigmund Freud, who theorized that people’s mental health is based on their relationships with other people. To keep your relationship healthy, you need to understand how your partner thinks and feels. You also need to be understanding and supportive of them. If you can do these things, you may be able to save your relationship.
Getting the Love You Want is a book that explains how to preserve a relationship that is at risk of falling apart. This involves understanding your partner’s needs and motivations and providing them with the necessary emotional support. If you are worried that your relationship is in danger of ending, reading this book is an excellent way to start preserving it.
Getting The Love You Want Key Points
Our early experiences and relationships often shape our view of what we want and need in a partner
If you’re looking for love, you might be asking yourself what your childhood desires were. If you’re like most people, you didn’t explore your hidden desires until after you started dating and found that your partner wasn’t a perfect fit for you. But did you have a perfect match in mind all along? Your childhood desire likely influenced who you chose as your life partner. If you had a deep-seated need to be loved and accepted, then chances are you would have chosen someone who could provide that for you.
When you’re growing up, your choices of life partner are influenced by the hidden desires that you have. Some of these desires might be to feel loved and wanted or to find a parent figure who can provide what you need. If you’re not able to find happiness in your current relationship, your childhood desires may be still influencing your choices. Alternatively, if you needed to feel powerful and in control, then the person who fulfilled that need might have been a better match for you. The point is that it’s important to take the time to explore your hidden desires so that you can find the love you want.
This is because your early experiences and relationships shape what you want and need in a partner. For example, if you had an emotionally distant father, you may be attracted to more affectionate partners. Or, if you experienced neglect or abuse, you may be drawn to someone kind and protective. While these desires are often subconscious, they can have a powerful impact on the types of people you are attracted to and the type of relationship you ultimately create. If you’re not aware of your hidden desires, they may lead you to choose a partner who isn’t right for you or to stay in an unhealthy relationship.
There are many signs that people give off when they want to end a relationship, even if they don’t realize it themselves
We’ve all heard of the seven-year itch, that sinking feeling that something is just not right in a relationship and it may be time to move on. While this may be true for some people, others find themselves in a cycle of relationships that never seem to last. They may feel like they’re always looking for something better, but they’re just looking for an escape. There are many reasons why people stay in unhappy relationships. Maybe they’re afraid of being alone, or they don’t want to start over with someone new. Maybe they’ve been hurt so many times before that they don’t believe anyone could ever truly love them. Or maybe they just don’t know how to break free from the cycle.
If you find yourself constantly searching for ways out of your relationship, it might be time to take a step back and examine why you keep doing this. Are you unhappy with your partner, or are you just afraid of commitment? If it’s the latter, there are plenty of resources out there to help you work through your fear and find happiness in a healthy relationship.
Giving gifts to one another is a way of showing that we care and appreciate one another
We all know that gift-giving is a way to show our affection for another person, but did you know that it can also help improve your relationship? That’s because when we give is secret expecting something in return. It sounds selfish, but it’s true! Think about it this way: when you give your partner a gift, you’re hoping that they’ll appreciate it and feel the same way towards you.
In other words, you’re looking for affirmation from them. And on the flip side, when your partner gives you a gift, they’re hoping that you’ll do the same for them. So next time you’re feeling stuck in a rut with your partner, try giving them a little present. It just might be the thing that helps get your relationship back on track.
According to the author of Getting The Love You Want, when we give gifts, we show our affection for the other person. This action can improve any relationship, whether it be with a friend, family member, or romantic partner. Secretly, most people expect some form of gift giving in their relationships. It makes us feel special and loved when someone takes the time to pick out a present for us. Even small gestures like this can go a long way in making us feel appreciated.
Getting The Love You Want Quotes
“Ironically, for reasons we will explore in later chapters, fusers (who experienced neglectful caretaking) and isolators (who experienced intrusive parenting) tend to grow up and marry each other, thus beginning an infuriating game of push and pull that leaves neither partner satisfied.” –Harville Hendrix
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing, there is a field. I will meet you there.” -Harville Hendrix
Getting The Love You Want Review
This book is recommended for couples who are struggling in their relationships. It offers a unique approach to therapy that can help partners understand each other better and build a stronger bond. It offers an in-depth exploration of how to create and maintain a loving relationship. The book is well researched and provides a wealth of practical advice. It is easy to read and understand.
To Whom I would recommend Getting The Love You Want Summary?
- Anyone who is struggling in their relationship or looking to improve their relationship.
- Anyone who wants to improve communication and create a deeper level of intimacy.
- Anyone who is struggling in their relationship.
