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How to Win Friends and Influence People Summary – May 2022

Author: Dale Carnegie

Short Summary
How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936) is a hands-on guide on self-improvement by Dale Carnegie. It will teach you how to make the best out of every situation, become more likable, achieve maximum potential, and sway people. The book offers great advice on how to make friends often, communicate better, and work your way up in personal and professional life by influencing people that surround you.
how to win friends and influence people summary
Source: amazon.com

Detailed Summary

Overall, this book is about getting people to like you. Sounds like something we all want to do right? As a cherry on top of the cake, the steps that Dale Carnegie describes are even simpler and easily adaptable. Whether it is family, work colleagues, or friends we all want to win people over. This makes our life more worthwhile and easier. Carnegie argues that making people like you is not as hard as it appears. You just have to be patient and take the right steps. If you have the right friends at work, it increases your efficiency and makes you feel more engaged with the tasks at hand.

If you make friends with people at work, you won’t hear your imagination telling you, “You are good for nothing” next time you see the face of your manager. Instead, you might hear, “I can help” in your head when you see him. Having friends at the workplace can give you peace of mind and provide you with the relaxation you need to perform better. When you make people feel seen, heard, comfortable, and appreciated they feel better and in return they make YOU feel better.

How to Win Friends and Influence People Key Points

Talk about Everyone’s Favourite Topic; Themselves.

Don’t Fake it, Be Truly Interested in Others. Imagine yourself having a rough day. You reach the office and a co-worker asks you if you are worried. Instead of expecting the regular answer: ‘No, I am okay’ he wants to know what is bothering you. He keeps repeating this pattern of interest showing he is genuinely interested in your well-being. Won’t you be inclined towards making him your friend? He cares for you, wants to listen to your problems, and takes time out for you. These qualities are of a good friend. All these factors will add up and you will eventually befriend him. This is what being genuinely interested in others does.

Instead of trying to make other people interested in you, become interested in them. If you want to be friends with someone, make it your mission to find out how they spend their time, what subjects they are interested in, and what excites them. If they like sports find out which one is their favorite to watch and to play. Watch it or learn its basics at least enough to carry a conversation. Ask them about their favorite players and teams. This will get them to talk. Being genuinely interested in others will also make them act in your favor. Everyone likes talking about themselves so use it to your advantage.

Smile! That’s all!

Imagine meeting someone for the first time. You walk into the cafe where you expect to see him. You recognize the person and from where you are standing and he appears a bit stiff. However, when you walk towards him, he stands up and smiles. This will slowly put you at ease. You will start to feel a bit relaxed because now they appear to be welcoming and nice. This is the power of a simple smile. Much of the communication gets its meaning from how you use your body language. If you appear to be relaxed, smile, and shake the other person’s hand it will generate positive feelings in them towards you.

Show Appreciation

How many times do you get a pat on your back when you accept you have failed or when you accomplish something hard? Sometimes or maybe never! A little appreciation goes a long way. Say sorry, thank you, and use phrases like, ‘you did well’ whenever you get a chance. You can’t think of making your friends and family go without food for many years of their life. In the same way, do not make them go through their lives without appreciation. Think of appreciation as food for their mind and soul. When you appreciate people, they generate positive feelings and those feelings will radiate back at you!

How to Win Friends and Influence People Quotes

“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.” –Dale Carnegie

How to Win Friends and Influence People Summary Review

How to Win Friends and Influence People summary will make you focus on very minute things that you can do every day to become more likable and influential. These are things that are not hard to perform but we have been ignoring them every day. Dale Carnegie’s simple writing style is what makes this book as effective as it was eighty years ago when it was first published. Every argument made by the author is well supported by examples from different people who have lived through different periods. It will help you regain the good nature we are all inherently born with but lose over time. To conclude my point, it is one of the best books you can read to improve your social life.

To Whom I Would Recommend How to Win Friends and Influence People Summary

  • The eighteen-year-old girl who just got into her dream university but is facing trouble in making friends due to her introverted personality.
  • To the new manager in a firm whose job relies on carrying out effective communication with hundreds of people every day.
  • And to anyone who struggles to welcome opposing arguments with patience and respect.

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