“If we are to feel the positive feelings of love, happiness, trust, and gratitude, we periodically also have to feel anger, sadness, fear, and sorrow.”
― John Gray

Detail Summary

The book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is written by John Gray, who is an American relationship counselor. In his book, he has tried to guide couples who are struggling to live a happy, peaceful life and improve their relationships through understanding and accepting each other.

The author has highlighted the fact that men and women are different. As different as being from two different planets. Moreover, the author guides the readers on how to understand the nature of the opposite sex.

The book provides a practical and tried-and-tested way for men and women to nurture their relationships by appreciating their differences. Some of the best guides from the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus summary:

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus Summary Key Points

Differ from their viewpoints, perspectives, and personalities, which make them impactful living creatures. Following are the important key points of the book that you must encounter if you are in a relationship or newly married.

Men want solutions to their problems and efforts to appreciate

“Men are motivated when they feel needed while women are motivated when they feel cherished.”
― John Gray

The book guides us about the nature of men and women. The author says that men like to solve their problems quickly and singlehandedly. It’s in their nature they will ask for help when there is no other option.

Especially when it comes to their problems, they don’t like sharing them with their partner. They prefer spending time alone in solitude or watching TV to feel good. Men like to work on their own as they value solutions.

Not only do they offer solutions, but they desire that their efforts will be appreciated. They love when their partner appreciates their abilities and trusts them. They hate it when their efforts are ignored.

Women want to be Listened to, and Feel Loved

As the author guides us about the nature of men, just like the author has also discussed the nature of women.

As the men want the solution to the problem, and they try to solve the problem themselves. On the other hand, women are totally different and want to communicate with their partners when they encounter any problem. Women want their partners to listen to them.

So, in this case, men being the problem fixer, when they try to give solutions to their partners instead of listening to her, she gets offended. This can turn into a conflict.

But if they understand each other’s nature and know what their partner wants from them, they will be able to live in peace without fighting.

Besides that, women love to listen, women love to have their feelings recognized. They want that their efforts and care to be acknowledged by their partners.

So, here we get a lesson: as a woman, you can show men that you trust them and let them help when they want to, so they’ll feel useful. As a man, you can repeatedly show women how much you love them to make them feel fulfilled.

Men and Women communicate differently

By that, it means that sometimes men and women use similar words but don’t mean them. It sometimes creates misunderstandings which lead to conflict.

Men talk in very literal terms for the purpose of relaying information; women employ artistic license and dramatic vocabulary to express and relate their feelings fully.

Men like to sort their thoughts out before communicating them and have the tendency to become distant and non-communicative as they ponder their concerns.

At this time, a woman needs reassurance that her partner still rates her worthy of care. Both must try to avoid feeling personally to blame when their partners are dealing with problems.

When a man is troubled, he does not want his partner to express concern for him but loves to tell that the problem is easily within his ability to rectify because of the implicit vote of confidence in his abilities.

When a woman has trouble, she loves her partner to express concern for her but does not want to be told that the problem is simple to solve because of the implicit dismissal of her concerns about the issue.

A solution should seek once her feelings have been fully listened to: too quick a solution justifies his abilities but devalues her concerns. Too enduring a problem justifies her concerns but devalues his abilities.

The secret of living a Peaceful life

To accommodate their partners’ responses, each should make small changes to their behaviors and communication towards the other, but without compromising their own true natures.

As a male, you can concentrate on women’s feelings rather than just their words. As a woman, you may stop attempting to decipher the hidden meaning behind men’s words because they usually say exactly what they mean.

Constructive communication is a learned skill, and many of us must first unlearn our childhood paradigms of negative communication and repression of feelings.

Communication is most effective when it offers the entire picture rather than simply the symptoms so that the source of the problem can be revealed.

Who would I recommend Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus Summary to?

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus summary recommends for young couples who are struggling to understand and accept each other. The book will guide them to accept that men and women are different.

Moreover, a teenager who is attempting his first shot at a relationship should give it a read before starting a relationship.