Author: Amy Cuddy
|Presence book (2016) takes an in-depth look at the relationship between our mind and body. In order to come out of our shells and grow out of the shyness, we harbor we need to face challenges and become bold.|
In Presence book by Amy Cuddy, you will learn how to develop coordination between your body and nervous system so that you can achieve the confidence you have always dreamed of. So many of us have friends and acquaintances that speak with unwavering confidence and eloquence in front of hundreds of people. Mostly we think that they are naturally confident or gifted. Sometimes that is the truth but it should not stop the rest of the people from trying to speak with eloquence and confident body language.
Amy Cuddy in Presence book will show you that any of us can achieve that confidence by just practicing a synergy between our minds and bodies. Through a few breathing exercises, taking deep breaths, and having a good posture we can also become one of these public speaking hulks. With the help of simple exercises, fun dances from the people of New Zealand, assessing our core values, and taking breaths in an in-out cycle we can regain our confidence and speak in public. Now be present and let us dig into the key points of the Presence book to get you that confidence!
Presence Book Key Points
Effective Communication Involves a Synergy Between Your Body Language and Words
Let us begin by talking about communication. You might have heard your parents or teachers telling you that communication is both verbal and non-verbal. You do not just communicate with your words. For example, you walk into the office and your friend is looking down with his head between his head and a hunched back. His body would send you a message without him using any words. You will realize that either he is stressed or he has not rested well the night before. For delivering effective and clear messages, your body and words should be in sync.
Remember that body language is powerful as Deborah Bull narrates “Body language is a very powerful tool. We had body language before we had speech, and apparently, 80% of what you understand in a conversation is read through the body, not the words.” If you are delivering a speech; your body should show that you deeply mean every word you are saying to your audience. You believe in that particular cause, topic, or remedy.
Assess Your Core Values
Speaking confidently is not only about fighting the external factors that may bother you. For becoming an effective communicator, you need to develop a sense of worth. So many people believe that they cannot speak well because they are not born with the quality and eloquence. ‘I am going to mess up on the stage, who cares about what I have to say, my words do not matter, etc., etc.’ these are some of the negative statements that might pop up in your head right before your turn.
To overcome the stress, anxiety, and lack of confidence, Cuddy advises her readers to assess the core values in the Presence book. Write down what matters the most in your life. Now pick one of these values and try to write one paragraph about it. It can be anything: integrity, family, or love. When you look back and remember what you value most in your life you get a sense of self-respect. Our values connect us with who we are. Looking at them gives us a sense of belonging. In this way, when you are out there in the world you will feel more aligned and in tune with who you are. Your self-confidence will be elevated naturally and stress will be reduced. This will enable you to communicate with ease. Your body language will also be relaxed because you will talk be talking from a place that is centered and grounded around true core values.
Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) VS the Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS)
SNS is activated when a human is in a fight or flight response. In simpler words, it works when we are anxious, afraid, or in stress. On the other hand, PNS is at work when we feel grounded and safe. When we feel safe the brain sends a message to our body to reduce the heart rate and make us feel stress-free. PNS is mostly activated when we are in our most comfortable and natural form.
Ideally, if you are about to deliver a speech or communicate with your boss; you would want to feel relaxed. To feel relaxed, you need to activate PNS. This can be done simply by taking deep breaths and focusing on your rhythmic cycle. The in-out cycle will lower your heart rate and you will naturally unclench your muscles and jaw. Try this the next time you are about to go in public.
Presence Book Quotes
“Focus less on the impression you’re making on others and more on the impression you’re making on yourself.” ― Amy Cuddy
“All changes… have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.” ― Amy Cuddy
Presence Book Review
Presence is a great book for those who suffer from anxiety and stress while speaking in public. It’s not only based on theoretical advice on maintaining a good posture and speaking well. A presence book will transform you into a person who is more aligned with his values and speaks from a place of self-confidence.
To Whom I Would Recommend Presence Book
- To the teen nerd who wants to be more vocal in his classes.
- To the freshman college students who feel intimidated while talking in front of their seniors in gatherings
- And to anyone who wants to speak with more confidence and eloquence.