Author: Olivia Fox Cabane
|The Charisma Myth (2012) tells the readers that charisma is not an inbuilt human trait but we can develop it ourselves. To become naturally charismatic, you must find your charisma style. Moreover, the writer has revealed the secrets of becoming charismatic i.e presence, power, and warmth.|
In the book, The Charisma Myth, the writer has shared her secrets of developing a charismatic personality. According to her, it’s a myth that charisma is a natural human trait.
Although if we think about the word “charisma”, a celebrity or a friend or any colleague comes to our mind who is loved by everyone. But we can also mould our personality in such a way that everyone starts loving us and it’s that hard.
There are a few tips that are shared in the book The Charisma Myth that we can adopt to develop charisma. By adopting them, you can master the art of being charismatic.
The Charisma Myth Key Points
The first secret of being charismatic and attractive is presence. It means that be present in the current situation or while talking to someone.
Everyone likes to be heard. And when someone feels that there is someone who is understanding and listening to what we are saying, they feel loved. It makes you attractive. They start sharing everything with you and start trusting you. So, it means that when you become a good listener you can be attractive and develop charisma.
As we know, the ability to stay present in a conversation is becoming rare as the number of distractions from smartphones and technology increases. We all want others to understand us and pay attention to what we’re saying. As a result, mastering the skill of being present will set you apart from the crowd and make others feel heard.
Power and Warmth
The other secrets of being charismatic are power and warmth which are connected to each other.
Power and warmth are the other two aspects of charisma. We naturally place a higher value on powerful individuals. When you combine that with warmth, you become unbelievably likeable, much like a movie hero. It’s because warmth tells us how we’ll use our power, and that makes a huge impact.
How to develop them
Then the book guides us on how we can develop the presence, power and warmth in ourselves in order to become charismatic.
According to the author, by eliminating distractions, practising power posing, and cultivating gratitude, benevolence, and compassion, we can develop charisma. The author provides three visual aids to help us remember all three characteristics. To begin, envision everyone wearing angel wings to remind yourself that everyone has positive qualities. Second, imagine yourself as a confident person or recall a time when you were incredibly self-assured. Finally, if your mind wanders during a discussion, concentrate on your toe. This will return your attention back to the current moment, which you can then direct toward the other person.
Everybody has its own charisma style, we need to explore it
The Book The Charisma Style tells us that everyone is unique has everybody has their own charisma style. But we need to do is to figure it out ourselves.
The first thing is that charisma is not something that can be copied. You don’t have to copy charisma from someone else to have it. Everyone is different, and you may develop your own charismatic approach to fit your personality, goals, and current position. Being charming does not come in a “one-size-fits-all” package. Knowing the various styles will assist you in determining your own personal style.
There are four charisma styles, according to the author. Focus charisma is all about being fully present and focusing on the other person. Bill Clinton is a superb illustration of this technique. People are more likely to believe in a vision if they have charisma. This style is exemplified by Steve Jobs. Kindness charisma causes you to recognise and accept others. The Dalai Lama is an excellent illustration of this style. And when you demonstrate authority charm, it’s a win-win situation, the ability to have an impact on people’s lives Bill Gates exemplifies this style.
You can use the author’s proposed rules to help yourself pick which charisma style to use. When in doubt, go with your natural style, which you are most at ease with. The best tip is to be natural and doesn’t fake it.
The biggest destroyer of charisma is your own mind and thoughts. When you doubt yourself, you start questioning your worth and it’s the biggest destroyer of charisma. Moreover, impatience, annoyance, irritability, and other emotions also destroy charisma. Your internal mental states have an impact on your body language and words, which can create or break your charisma since they determine how present, forceful, and warm you are in a given circumstance. To overcome such internal impediments, the author proposes some effective tools.
The first step is to de-dramatize things and understands that they aren’t as serious as you make them out to be. Many others have comparable challenges and annoyances, so you don’t have to feel awful about being in a bad circumstance. The second step is to de-stigmatize discomfort, which means you should allow yourself to have uncomfortable experiences or sensations because they are a natural part of life
Then, by naming negativity and acknowledging that your perceptions or thoughts do not represent reality and are warped by many variables you are ignorant of, you may neutralise it. Be positive and start thinking positive.
Finally, you can rewrite reality by employing “cognitive reappraisal,” which entails shifting your perspective on unfavourable ideas or situations to one that is more beneficial. Based on the tale we tell ourselves; our brain causes us to feel emotions. As a result, if you change the storey, you’ll alter your mental state and regain your charm.
Who would I recommend The Charisma Myth to?
The Charisma Myth: How anyone can master the art and science of personal magnetism is recommended to anyone who is dealing with depression and anxiety and question their worth. The book will guide them to be positive in their lives and know their worth.