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The Drama of The Gifted Child Summary – June 2022

Author: Alice Miller

Short Summary
The Drama of The Gifted Child (1979) is a self-help book. It has been written by Alice Miller who is a Swiss author and psychoanalyst. This book helps readers understand why they are running away from their childhood feelings and what they can do to confront them so they can succeed in living their lives.
the drama of the gifted child
Source: amazon.com

Detailed Summary

The Drama of the Gifted Child does not focus on pathology, but rather it is a data-based, psychological study of how human beings are affected by their childhoods. In this groundbreaking work, a new concept of what constitutes a healthy personality is presented. The book is divided into two parts. Part One is devoted to individuals who have achieved exceptional goals; part two deals with those who failed to meet their potential.

The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller. Miller contends that if the child’s needs for love, security, and attention are not met, the child resorts to manipulative behavior or symptoms of illness to get the attention of parents. The child refuses to accept that he is loved if his demands are not met. More importantly, children who have been rejected or abused feel a profound inability to trust themselves and become narcissistic.

This book also shows how easily parents can influence their children’s personalities through everything that they do or say. From the age of 0 until 2, children are incapable of identifying their emotional needs so all the needs that cannot be filled are suppressed and pushed deep inside. Parents pass on their own suffocated emotions to their children who then repeat those same patterns to feel alive.

The Drama of The Gifted Child Key Points

Gifted Child is more depressed because of high expectations

Kids who are gifted with their brains go through a process of trying to win love, care, and affection from their parents. If the child’s feelings aren’t validated, feelings of anxiety, depression, and anger build up. This leads to things like creativity, dyslexia, attention deficit disorder, and more. Some parents wonder why the gifted kids in their families are so frequently depressed, moody and anxious. We may be able to give one answer to that question today.

So it shouldn’t be surprising that depression and anxiety are far more common in gifted kids than in the average population. The American Psychological Association has noted that the number one concern of gifted children is not their success or failure. Instead, they worry about how others see them.

Dr. Alice Miller is well-known in Europe for her insights into the cause of emotional disorders. She believes that emotional disorders are the result of the way children are being parented, rather than biological factors. It is not just children who are suffering from emotional disorders: many adults have unresolved issues stemming from childhood abuse and neglect, which manifest themselves in depression, eating disorders, drug abuse, and other self-destructive behaviors.

The drama of a gifted child summary examines childhood trauma and the enduring effects it has on an individual’s management of repressed anger and pain.

Childhood trauma can affect generations if doesn’t care of

One way that parents can set up their kids for a better life is by dealing with the emotional trauma from their childhoods. For example, if a person grew up in an emotionally neglectful environment and had few ways to connect with their parent, it can hurt the ability to form intimate relationships later in life. The effects of childhood trauma can get passed down through generations if it isn’t addressed. The need for proper coping mechanisms and emotional management skills is essential for success. Not all parents were fortunate enough to receive a proper parenting education.

A recent study shows how this kind of trauma can get passed down through generations if it isn’t addressed. The study was conducted on 129 women and 91 men who were asked about their childhood experiences, including whether they were rejected by their mothers. The participants had to answer questions about whether they felt rejected or emotionally neglected as children, including such statements as “My mother never showed me any physical affection,” or “My mother never complimented me.” Those who reported that they felt deeply connected to their mothers had the highest levels of self-esteem while those who felt they were rejected or neglected had low self-esteem.

A parent who was emotionally abused as a child may have trouble finding the means and motivation to express her love towards her child. She may also fail to understand their child’s needs, taking time to notice when the child needs to reconnect with their own emotions and heal from past wounds. These parents can instill unhealthy patterns in their relationship with their kids — patterns that ultimately get handed down for generations.

Be your true self to change the world

The biggest problem with being an emotionally and/or intellectually gifted child is that your brain is so active and open to learning (as opposed to a brain that’s completely “set” by the time people reach young adulthood). It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it does make you more prone to learning lessons that can become lifelong habits. As you might have guessed, one of those habits is avoidance.

As children, gifted kids feel so much emotion, that they naturally want to run from it before they dissociate or, worse still, lash out at someone else. This often results in a long-term pattern of avoidance. When life gets hard and we are thrust into situations that are triggering negative emotions like anger, guilt, fear, or resentment, we instinctively look for the quickest way to escape. The problem is that our brains automatically look for the easiest exits: alcohol, drugs, sex, video games, and social media.

Have you ever had those days where you feel like you’re drowning? Maybe it’s a parent who disappointed you or maybe it’s just your self-doubt. Maybe you have been suppressing your emotions for so long that you don’t even know how to be open anymore. Even though we want to be liked by everyone, it’s a hard thing to ask for. So, as a gifted child, you might as well just be yourself.

The Drama of The Gifted Child Quotes

“We become free by transforming ourselves from unaware victims of the past into responsible individuals in the present, who are aware of our past and are thus able to live with it.” -Alice Miller

“For one is free from it only when self-esteem is based on the authenticity of one’s feelings and not on the possession of certain qualities.” -Alice Miller

The Drama of The Gifted Child Review

This is an excellent book for learning more about yourself, how you became the way you are, and also as a possible source of help regarding the causes and cure of any emotional difficulties you may have. It will also help you better understand the people around you and how they came to be the way they are. It is a good source of psychological knowledge. Good reads Review

To whom I would recommend The Drama of The Gifted Child Summary?

  • Anyone who was abused as a child.
  • Any parent or parent-to-be.
  • Anyone who is struggling with anxiety or depression.

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