Author: Don Miguel Ruiz
|The Four Agreements (1997) is a self-help guide that can enable you to attain freedom and live life while staying true to yourself. It will push you to let go of the negative and useless patterns you have learned over many years.|
In the Four Agreements summary, you will learn to let go of the thoughts and beliefs that have been holding us back. Society conditions humans to act and think in certain ways and very often these beliefs do not benefit us instead they take away our joy and happiness.
By learning such beliefs over years, very often we do not even recognize them because they feel normal to us. Based on the centuries-old Toltec wisdom that preaches personal freedom and happiness. It will allow you to identify the sources of your unhappiness and gradually work towards improving them.
The Four Agreements Summary Key Points
Be True to Your Word
Think may appear as the simplest agreement but according to the author, it is hard to be true to this one. It preaches you to stay true to whatever comes out of your mouth whether it is about yourself or someone else. If you have made a promise to yourself or someone else makes sure to fulfill it. If you say something about yourself or anyone else make sure it is based on truth, honesty, and integrity. Do not go about your life bad-mouthing people. When you are using words remember their power. Whatever you say can uphold your image or ruin it. It can be used in your favor or against you.
When you criticize someone negatively you should remember that the words that come out of your mouth in anger can ruin someone’s image of themselves and there is no justification that you can give. That is why we need to give a thought to whatever we are about to say. Words create our image in the mind of the people and the words you speak are powerful enough to wreck or improve their image in their minds. So use language properly. It is a powerful tool. Be kind, truthful, and rational with your words.
Do Not Let Things Get to Your Head
Imagine a situation. You have a horrible co-worker and every day you walk into your office they have prepared a way to make your life miserable. They might be indirectly passing comments about the way you work, sit or carry out your job. If you have a weak sense of self and you already do not regard yourself qualified enough for the job these words will get to your head. On the other hand, if you have a strong sense of self and you are confident about your abilities you will just ignore this negativity and will carry on with your work. Not taking everything personally can only come from a deep and strong sense of self. You are secure in your personality.
Not everything is about you. The world does not revolve around you so why take everything personally? Why feel everything more than we should and take the negativity with us to bed each day? When someone passes a bad comment about you, you should realize that it has so much to do with them and so less to do with who you are. Their comments come from their underlying issues. If someone calls you ugly, it has so little to do with your physical features it is all about them feeling inadequate and insecure in their own body. To separate such comments from yourself you will have to work on creating an image of yourself in your head. That image should be resilient enough to stand still no matter how many stones are thrown at it.
Do not Over Think and Make assumptions
I passed through the corridor this morning and a very good friend was harsh to me. As a typical human my mind started making assumptions. Did I say something rude to her the last time I met her? Did I forget something important, like her birthday? Is she going through some hardship? Or is it something with her family? Being human, all of us start thinking and overthinking when something happens. We feel that the more we think about it the closer we get to the truth. Alone we can uncover the underlying meaning of the situation. But in most cases, we end up judging or misunderstanding.
To counteract this, the author advises his readers to ask questions. If someone has said something unclear or vague ask them to explain whatever it is in detail. If someone is rude to you, instead of putting meaning to their words ask them why they behaved harshly so that you can understand and help if you want to.
Whatever You Do, Do Your Best
Your best will not always look the same, some days your best might ne just waking up and washing your face other days your best will be tackling a huge to-do list. But whatever you can do, do it to the best of your abilities. Avoid regrets, self-judgment, and self-hate. When you give your best you will be satisfied regardless of the outcomes you might face. Satisfaction lies in the process not the result so do everything with attention and love. Give your best in your relationships, take care of the people in your life and be honest with them and work hard to the best of your skills and abilities at work.
The Four Agreements Quotes
“You can have many great ideas in your head, but what makes the difference is the action. Without action upon an idea, there will be no manifestation, no results, and no reward.” –Don Miguel Ruiz
“I will no longer allow anyone to manipulate my mind and control my life in the name of love.” –Don Miguel Ruiz
The Four Agreements Summary Review
The Four Agreements Summary will teach you some of the most simple essential tips for you to become more independent and secure. The lessons are repetitive so that you can let go of the patterns and beliefs you have learned over years.
To Whom I Would Recommend The Four Agreements Summary
- To the talkative extrovert who ends up saying more than he should.
- To the overthinker who thinks he is always bothering others with his questions.
- And to everyone who wants to feel more free and secure in their own personality.