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The Gift of Fear Summary – March 2022

Author: Gavin de Becker

Short Summary
The Gift of Fear (1997) highlights the importance of gut feeling, intuition, and a sense of fear to protect yourself from any bad incident. Moreover, the author shares some warning signs of criminals. The book teaches us how body language can reveal a person’s genuine intentions and how to follow gut feelings in order to stay safe.
the gift of fear summary
Source: amazon.com

Detailed Summary

Whatever you want to call it: instinct, hunch, or sixth sense but it’s one of the most important ways we can protect ourselves from any upcoming danger. We all have experienced intuition in a variety of ways; whether it’s an overwhelming sense of anxiety or a dream that wakes you up in the middle of the night, or maybe a toxic relationship. These feelings are important and should not be ignored and that’s what the book teaches us. The author has shared how to recognize a suspicious person and what are the warning signs of criminals in his book.

In the book, the author Gavin De Becker teaches us that the sense of fear is a gift that protects us from many dangers because we all have moments when we are afraid of people. Besides this, the author says that we rely so much on technology these days to forecast any danger. No doubt we should use technology to ensure our safety but do you think it’s enough to protect ourselves from any harm? I guess NO!

Because we should take responsibility to protect ourselves from any danger. We should learn to sense fear and use intuition instead of relying on technology.

The Gift of Fear Summary Key Points

Try to recognize the over-friendly nature of strangers and protect yourself

The first warning sign that the author gives about criminals or suspicious people is over-friendliness. Strangers always try to be over-friendly to grab your attention and trust. Criminals know that if they can convince you to relax your guard, they will be able to get what they want. That’s why they’ll use unconventional methods to gain your trust. Be aware of it!

First, keep an eye out for what’s known as forced teaming. This is when a criminal tries to be your friend to convince you to do something. Pay attention to their words when they use the word “we” to describe a circumstance in which they’re attempting to assist you, it’s obvious to notice. Don’t give too many details to strangers and don’t listen to too many unnecessary details that a stranger is giving to you. There is always something fishy when a stranger starts telling you everything.

Pay attention to the body language

Another thing that the author teaches us to protect ourselves is to pay attention to body language. It has a lot to do with what’s going on in somebody’s mind. So, the author suggests we keep an eye out for a protruding chin, which is one symptom of rage. Flaring nostrils is another method to identify if someone is a threat. People who always stare or look at you, are often violent. You can also use these techniques while hiring any employee.

You should develop empathy to know if the person is risky or not because if you get what they are feeling, you will better understand them.

Just suppose that you are receiving an angry email from the employee who recently got fired by you, then put yourself in his place and think about what is his intentions. He would never send threats if he want to join again. His only intention is to emotionally harm you. So, be careful.

The two rules of fear

According to the author, there are two principles when it comes to fear. If you follow the principles, you can enhance your fear management, lessen its frequency and change your life experience. Remember that fear implies that something bad might happen. If it occurs, we either cease fearing it and begin to adapt to it, manage it, and yield to it, or we begin to fear the next event we anticipate.

The first rule is the mere fact that you are afraid of something that is not going to happen. Fear instructs us to be concerned about what will happen next, rather than what is happening right now. To illustrate, De Becker uses the following literal example: You can be afraid of getting too close to the edge of a cliff if you’re standing near it. If you stand right on the edge, you don’t have to worry about getting too close; instead, you have to worry about falling. Furthermore, if you do fall off, you are now afraid of landing.

The second rule of fear is that what you dread is rarely what you think you fear, but rather what you associate with fear. Consider any situation in which you have experienced extreme fear and connect it to each of the possibilities. When there is a genuine fear, it will either be associated with danger or with suffering or death. Our intuition makes a connection when we receive a fear signal. When we concentrate just on one link, such as fear of someone approaching us on a dark street rather than fear of being injured by someone approaching us on a dark street, the fear is blown. Because many people will approach us, just a few will be able to hurt us.

The Gift of Fear Quotes

Some of my favorite quotes from the book are:

“I encourage people to remember that “no” is a complete sentence.” Gavin de Becker

“Denial is a save now, pay later scheme.” Gavin de Becker

The Gift of Fear Review

The book is all about embracing intuition and gut feelings. They are not useless, they have the power to protect us. Lucifer’s show on Netflix came to my mind while reading this book. Moreover, what I believe is that this book is good for all women and is truly a great book about self-protection.

Who would I recommend The Gift of Fear Summary?

The Gift of Fear Summary is recommended to those who blindly trust people, especially strangers. Moreover, all the girls out there need to read this and understand the warning signs of the criminals to protect themselves when they go out and become vigilant.

Link: https://amzn.to/3Boxbqg