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The Power of Showing Up Summary – July 2022

Author: Daniel J. Siegel MD, Tina Payne Bryson PhD

Short Summary
The Power of Showing Up (2020) offers parents an inside look at the hidden value of participating in every aspect of their kids’ lives. It provides practical ways to build stronger connections with their children. And it also shows how to be an expert listener and how to help their kids establish more meaningful relationships with friends and family.
the power of showing up
Source: amazon.com

Detailed Summary

Imagine that you are a parent. You have decided to pay more attention to your kid’s activities and make sure they are growing up in the healthiest, happiest way possible. Showing up and being fully engaged in the lives of your kids may seem overwhelming, but it’s easier to do than you think. After all, your kids will always be a part of you, so why not find ways to be more involved in their lives?

One of the best things you can do is read with them. Reading out loud is a powerful way to help stimulate the brain, ignite a love of learning, and develop empathy and compassion. The Power of Showing Up tells you everything you need to know to get started with this family time.

As parents, we have a million things on our plates. There’s the obvious, like work and school and helping with homework. But what about the things that aren’t as obvious, but are still just as important? How can we help our kids develop into happy, healthy adults?

The Power of Showing Up helps parents do just that. This book provides the tools you need to create a relationship with your child so they know you’re their biggest cheerleader and their first line of defense when it comes to making healthy decisions.

The Power of Showing Up Key Points

Help your children develop emotional strength with along physical strength

If a child grows up in an environment with little physical trauma, but with a lot of emotional trauma, he can continue developing normally. The effects of emotional trauma are seen in the child’s behavior and health. Children who grow up in such environments can experience anxiety and depression throughout their lives.

As adults, they may struggle with their mental and emotional health, have problems forming relationships and maintaining them, have trouble working, or be less productive than they could be. But some children grow up in a family where there is both physical and emotional trauma. These children will often have the worst outcomes.

These children often come from violent homes or have experienced severe physical abuse. In addition, they may experience psychological abuse at home. They may be treated as though they are worthless or not good enough. As adults, these children will likely struggle in every area of their lives. When adults violate children’s rights, physically or emotionally hurting them, they will be a victim of it in adulthood. Their worldview can be corrupted and they can suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

This is why childhood needs to be seen as a time of innocence and trust. These are the years when children are free to explore, develop, create, and be curious. They must have a sense of protection and care so that they can blossom and grow into well-behaved adults.

Give your children what they need, don’t impose your desires

You’re your child’s best friend. You know them better than anyone else and you’d do anything for them. That’s why it can be so hard for you to let your personal preferences get in the way of their needs. But sometimes what you want for your child isn’t as important as what they want for themselves. If you have a best friend that you can talk to about anything, then you know how useful they can be when times are tough. That’s because they understand you deeply and accept you regardless of what happens or what you think and feel. They are there to help without judging.

When it comes to raising your child, the same rules apply. Too often we get so caught up in trying to give our kids everything we believe they need that we prevent them from getting what they truly desire.

In a study, mothers were surveyed to see if their children got the chance to express their opinions about what they liked and disliked. The survey found that only 32 percent of moms allowed their kids to express their likes and dislikes, while 69 percent would force their kids to do things they didn’t want to do.

If your child shows tantrums then help them build emotional intelligence rather than threatening them

When kids are angry they often lose control of themselves. It’s one of the reasons why a lot of parents get frustrated when their children get angry.

If you want your kids to be sweet, soft, and cuddly then let them cry once in a while instead of getting angry if you want them to have emotional intelligence.

Pros:

  • The more kids learn at an early age to deal with reality, the better.
  • They will be able to think properly in situations of frustration and anger.
  • They will be able to control their anger once they get older.
  • They don’t have to exceed their boundaries by becoming aggressive and violent when they are adults.

Cons:

  • You will have to deal with their tantrums in the meantime until they grow up.
  • You have to tolerate their crying when you feel like scolding them.

The typical way to go about this is to set up activities and monitor them, to see if the child improves. We saw that temper tantrums are an important factor in emotional intelligence and wanted to quantify if our son is more likely to throw tantrums when he gets angry or not. If you are impatient when it comes to handling the temper tantrums of your kid, it would be better to have some patience and help them get relief. Patience is a very important trait that helps you stay calm and relaxed even when things aren’t in your favor.

The Power of Showing Up Quotes

“You can become the safe harbor for your children that you never had as a child.” ― Daniel J. Siegel

“It means being there for your kids. It means being physically present, as well as providing a quality of presence. Provide it when you’re meeting their needs; when you’re expressing your love to them; when you’re disciplining them; when you’re laughing together; even when you’re arguing with them.”  ― Daniel J. Siegel

The Power of Showing Up Review

I enjoyed this book so much because the authors explained everything so simply. Their parenting advice is actionable. You can at least deal with your children more accurately after reading this book. Highly recommended.

To whom I would recommend The Power of  Showing Up Summary?

  • Anyone who struggles to spend time with their children.
  • Any school teacher wants to treat their students better.
  • Anyone who loves to read children’s psychology.

Link: https://amzn.to/3zl4OXn