The Power of the Other Summary & Review

Author: Henry Cloud

Short Summary
The Power of the Other (2016) helps us realize that although people have an impact on us still, we can choose the people around us. We need to sift people and always keep the ones who make us feel the most alive and we don’t have to fake ourselves around them. Moreover, the book gives us some great leadership advice.
the power of the other

What is the best relationship influence other people have on your life? Because you can only be a great leader if you have the best relationships around you. Healthy relationships are helpful in your life, bring out the best version of you and improve your vision and growth toward the world. 

How do you feel about your relationships in real life? Are they worth keeping, or “Letting Go” is their best option? This book explores different kinds of relationships in terms of how they affect us. Moreover, it reveals how you replace or manage the wrong and fake people you have in your life. 

Summary of the book The Power of the Other

Dr. Henry Cloud, a psychologist and leadership consultant, wrote the book “The Power of the Other.” He exposes both the real and fake relationships that other people have with us. The main point of the book is that even though people have a significant impact on us and the ability to influence us, we still have the choice to accept or reject them.

This book also explains why some relationships are unhealthy for us while others are nourishing. We must carefully examine our relationships and pick the people who genuinely care about us and make us feel alive if we want to keep the real ones by our side. In addition, this book offers us some excellent leadership guidance.

Main Cruxes of the Book

The book explores the idea of the “other” concerning personal and professional development and how interactions with other people can significantly influence our lives.

The book’s opening chapter covers the importance of the influence of the “other” in our lives and how interactions with others affect our behaviors, thoughts, and emotions. Moreover, it is discussed that we look at the various “others” in our lives, including friends and mentors, and how each of these connections can help us grow personally.

Relationships can be “growth-fostering” or “growth-inhibiting,” which is one of the book’s main ideas. To achieve personal growth, the author contends that we must surround ourselves with people who will support and encourage us rather than those who will hold us back.

He also emphasizes the significance of being a “growth-fostering” person for others, as this can aid in forming mutually beneficial relationships.

Dr. Henry Cloud creates the Four Corner Relationship model. He explains that each of the four corners in our lives has a relationship to it.

To make our relationships better and perfect, we must understand the degrees of its model corners.

Corner One – Meaningless Relationship

The corner one relationship is a kind of relationship that is meaningless. Let’s take an example to understand when a boss uses offensive language to his/her employee. Same in spouse relationships, such as if your partner does not understand your condition and prefers to shout. It is advisable to leave and avoid these relationships. 

Corner Two – Toxic Relationship

This type of relationship refers to false or toxic relationships. Usually, it happens when you have a lover or a friend for whom you always take a stand. The most common example is when you settle for a partner who is genuinely not a good option for you. He/She always makes you feel down and worse after spending time with them. 

It is best to leave them as soon as possible if you do not feel the same vibe and feel you have for them from your partner.

Corner Three – Untruthful Relationship

The third corner of the relationship model is what you call a falsified connection or an untruthful relationship. It is most dangerous yet challenging to bypass. Honestly, this kind of relationship feels lovely and comfortable but harmful in the long run. It should be avoided as soon as you realize it. 

Corner Four – True Connection

How do you feel about one special person who truly cares and loves you and never degrades you at any cost? What about a person who motivates you when you feel down? 

This type of relationship refers to those who never feel uncomfortable or low when unsure about something. However, you only have one or two genuine people around you. They make you feel valued and superior. You must keep these kinds of people around you to live a better and happy life. They also help you become a better human being and leader. 

It is overwhelming to stay with trustworthy and genuine people because they always keep you motivated. You should analyze the power of genuine others who help in your personal growth. 

Consider taking a break, becoming more aware, and identifying healthy and unhealthy relationships. Identify which of the four corner relationships you currently have in your life. Thank you to those who make every effort to keep on your team. Have you read The Comfort Book Summary yet?

The best relationship never lets you down 

As much as the author emphasizes the authenticity of a relationship and encourages readers to separate the good and bad people in their lives, the author also emphasizes that we must solve our problems. He claims that we should not rely on others.

Even though the Corner of Relationships advises and supports us, this does not mean they will solve your problems. Your connection will give you the freedom to be yourself. Make your own decisions and never be judged for them. 

It will, however, give you the responsibility to take control of your situation and solve your own problems. This is a critical concept that we must all grasp.

The author argues that when we set boundaries, we can establish a clear sense of self, allowing us to make decisions based on our values and beliefs rather than being influenced by others.

To whom do I suggest this book?

Anyone who believes more friends are the reason for happiness, however, the truth is the opposite.

To anyone who thinks living with a toxic person would give them a happy life in the long run.

This book spells out quality matters a lot more than quantity. Also, the number of people does not matter if you have genuine people around you. 


“The Power of the Other” is a thought-provoking book that offers valuable insights into the role of relationships in personal growth. The author provides practical advice and real-life examples to illustrate the concepts discussed in the book, making it an engaging and informative read. For more such informative summaries, you can head to pickyreads.