The Power of the Other Summary – March 2022

Author: Henry Cloud

Short Summary
The Power of the Other (2016) helps us realize that although people have an impact on us still, we can choose the people around us. We need to sift people and always keep the ones who make us feel the most alive and we don’t have to fake ourselves around them. Moreover, the book gives us some great leadership advice.
the power of the other
Source: amazon.com

Detail Summary

The book is an eye-opener for those who call everyone their friends and can’t keep the toxic ones at bay. The book is written by a great psychologist and leadership trainer Henry Cloud.

In his book, he has given leadership as well as relationship advice and has linked both of them. According to him, if we master the art of managing relationships, we can be good leaders. This is because leadership is all about good relationships.

Moreover, the author has motivated the readers to figure out the people around them. He pointed out those who drain you should be avoided. Whereas people who make you feel good and bring the most real self you deserve to be in their life. The author thinks that quality matters more than quantity.

The Power of the Other Key Points

Four corners relationship

As we know, we meet a lot of people in our life, some become very close friends, some are workplace colleagues, or there are some people in our lives who don’t wish good for us but still, we fake a bond. So, in short, we share a different kind of bond with different people around us.

In order to better understand this, the author Henry Cloud has developed a Four Corner Relationship Model. He says that every relationship that we have with the people around us lies in one of the four corners. Henry Cloud’s “Four Corner” relationship model tries to provide a more accurate picture of leaders in terms of their interpersonal interactions. Here we need to understand that the higher the degree of the corner, the better the relationship.

Out of 4 corners, three of the corners are those which are just meaningless relationships and these should be cut off. Let’s look into each corner deeply.

Corner One relationship isn’t even close to being a connection. We can understand this by the example of a manager. Just like when a manager is utterly out of sync with his or her staff and acts practically independently. The same is true if you believe your spouse does not listen to you or does not support you in any way. Such a relationship is meaningless and should be avoided.

Then corner two relationship is the toxic relationship either with your lover or a friend. The classic instance is when you settle for a partner who is clearly not a good fit, such as someone who constantly puts you down and makes you feel worse after spending time with them. Moreover, those who don’t reciprocate your energies, just pack your bag and leave their lives as soon as possible.

Corner three relationship is what you may refer to as “false connections”. This is the most difficult type of relationship to avoid since it feels nice in the short term but is harmful in the long run. They should be avoided as well.

Keep and value the Corner four relationship

Just as we discussed those relationships that should be avoided, we need to know about the relationship that should be valued and that is the Corner four relationship.

It refers to those people in your life who bring out the best version of you and you feel the most alive among them. It does not have to be a bunch of people but even one or two. The only thing important is that we feel comfortable and don’t have to wear a mask around them. Those who truly understand us and never judge us. Such people are the most genuine ones and deserve to be valued. You should keep yourself around them in order to live a happy life. It will also help you to become a better leader and a better person. It will also assist you in “internalizing” the power of others, allowing you to grow and improve as a person.

So, take some time out, open your eyes and figure out good and bad relationships. Take a moment to consider which of the four corner relationships you already have in your life. Thank you to those individuals. Make a concerted effort to keep them on your team. Then you may forget about the rest.

Your best relationship will empower you

As much as the author emphasizes on the authenticity of a relationship and motivates the readers to sift the good and bad people around them, the author also highlights that we should solve our own problems. He says that we should not depend on anyone else.

Even the Corner for relationship advice us and supports us but still it does not mean that they will solve your problems. Your connection will allow you the freedom to be yourself. Do your own thing, and never be judged for what you do. However, it will also give you the responsibility to take control of your situation and handle your own problems. This is a very important thing that we all should understand.

 Who would I recommend The Power of the Other book to?

The book The Power of the Other is recommended to those who think that having more friends is necessary to live a happy life. The book will guide them that the quality matters and not the number of people around you. Moreover, those who are in a toxic relationship and think that this can give them happiness, in the long run, should read this book.

Link: https://amzn.to/3zA4rJQ