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The Relationship Cure Summary – March 2022

Author: The relationship cure

Short Summary
The Relationship Cure (2001) is a great book by John M. Gottman that will show you how to improve all your relationships. The book reveals the science of understanding how others communicate their needs and how to efficiently express your desires too. This will help you improve all your relationships, whether they are in a marriage, at work, or with friends.
the relationship cure
Source: amazon.com

Detailed Summary

No two relationships are the same, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a relationship cure. In his book, The relationship cure, Dr. John Gottman outlines some principles that can help any kind of relationship flourish. These principles are based on over 40 years of research and be effective in both short and long-term relationships.

If you’re looking to improve your relationship or want to make sure it stays healthy and strong whether you’re struggling to find common ground with your significant other, or you can’t seem to get along with your family then The relationship cure is the book for you. It’s filled with practical advice and real-world examples that will help you understand and apply those principles to your own life.

The Relationship Cure Key Points

Know how to use the bids correctly to become closer to others

It can be tough to know how to connect with your partner. You might think that opening up and being vulnerable will bring you closer, but that’s not always the case. The goal of a bid is to create a connection with your partner and to increase intimacy. However, simply opening up to your partner won’t bring you closer. You need to understand and use bids effectively if you want to maintain a healthy relationship.

What are bids? They’re attempts to emotionally connect with someone either verbally or nonverbally. Gottman teaches that a bid can be anything from “Wow, look at the beautiful sunset!” to a simple touch. The key is to make sure you’re paying attention to your partner’s bids and responding positively.

If you’re not sure how to start, try simply being more attentive. When your partner is talking, make eye contact and give them your full attention. You might also want to try responding positively to their bids, even if they’re not directed at you. By doing this, you’ll show your partner that you care about them and want to connect with them. Bids help keep communication open and remind both people in the relationship that they care about each other.

Be careful in responding to people because it’s difficult to figure out what they want

It can be tough to figure out what people want, so it’s important to be careful how you respond to requests. For example, if your wife tells you she’s cold, it may not just be a statement about the temperature. She may want you to cuddle with her and feel close to her.

It can be difficult to understand what people want, especially in times of stress or duress. When people are feeling sad, angry, or scared, their bids can sound more like laments or criticisms. It is key that we dig a little deeper to discover what they’re saying and how they feel. It’s important to be careful in our responses, and make sure we understand the real meaning behind people’s words. By taking the time to listen and understand, we can create a more positive and supportive environment for everyone.

Understanding the hidden messages in people’s requests is critical if you want to give them what they want. So be sure to pay close attention to every bid, no matter how small it may seem. Before you dismiss someone’s request as unimportant, take a second to think about what they might be trying to say. You may be surprised at what you find.

Use the soft language while expressing your needs to others

When expressing your needs to others, it’s important to use soft language. This will help ensure that the other person understands what you need and feels comfortable responding to you. Remember, it’s always important to be considerate of the other person’s feelings.

There are a few things you can do to make it easier for the other person to understand what you need. First, use simple language that the other person will be able to understand. Second, be specific about what you need. The more information you can provide, the easier it will be for the other person to respond. Finally, try to use a tone that is caring and understanding. This will show the other person that you are interested in their well-being and want to work together to meet your needs.

However, there are also times when you need your bid to be acknowledged too. In these cases, it can be helpful to use certain phrases to make yourself more easily understood. Some phrases you might want to try to include are “I need,” “I want,” and “Can you help me?”. Remember to be clear and specific about what you need, and be patient while the other person responds.

The relationship cure quotes

“three emotional needs common to all people. Everybody wants (1) to be included, (2) to have a sense of control over their lives, or (3) to be liked.” John M. Gottman

“Carnegie was right when he wrote, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” John M. Gottman

The relationship cure reviews

“Recommends it for: humans.

This book is about relationships and fostering understanding of emotions in yourself and others. Gottman lays it all out so intuitively that there is no question whether or not he is accurate.” Ken Householder

“Dr. John Gottman’s research on successful marriages at his laboratory at the University of Washington blazed new trails in the realm of psychology.” Paula

To whom I would recommend The relationship cure summary?

  • Any couple struggling to maintain their relationship with each other.
  • Anyone wants to know how to get closer to their family, friends, and other relations.
  • Anyone wants to build their connectivity with others.

Link: https://amzn.to/3BlA3nV