The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Summary – January 2022

Author: Mark Manson

Short Summary
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck (2017) tells about how to live a meaningful and productive life. There are many problems one everyone’s life and finding meaning in life will automatically help you to boost the energy to overcome those problems. We can say that the key to success is to not give a f*ck about those things which are not important to you and just give importance to only things which are associated with your values. Your life can be successful, happier, and less stressful by following some simple rules.
the subtle art of not giving a f*ck
Source: amazon.com

Detailed Summary

“Don’t hope for a life without problems, the panda said. ‘There’s no such thing.’ Instead, hope for a life full of good problems.” -Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

We are living in an era where we have multiple opportunities to choose our desired career, partner, and way of living.

Then why Is it so difficult to survive in this world? Why are we having so much stress in our heads? Because we can have everything we want!

Well, it’s because we have so many options and we end up concentrating on all our several choices and opportunities. In this summary, we’ll find out what is valuable to us and how we can concentrate on doing that. We’ll be discovering the important things to give a f*ck about and the thing to not.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Key Points

Only hold the positive values

Only focus on the values you can control. You have to change your perspectives of how you see life and you can change your perspectives by finding out what your values are and how you see success or failure. Those values you don’t control could create unnecessary difficulties in your life. Mark Manson mentioned the good as Good values are constructive, reality-based, and controllable. But Bad values are Superstitious, violent, and uncontrollable. And when you have bad values then you give automatically give a f*ck about the things that don’t matter and that make your life terrible.

For example, Honesty is a great example of good value. You can control honesty by being honest first with yourself. Because you can choose if you have to be truthful and honest or not. 

Find the right struggle for you

What do you want from your life? What’s the goal you want to achieve? Or what achievement do you’ve in your mind to work for?

It isn’t easy to answer these questions, is it? We all claim that we have ambitions to be happier in life, have a caring family, and have a fruitful jobs. But these goals are pretty weak because they won’t push you to struggle for success. You have to struggle to achieve anything anywhere in your life. Unfortunately, you can’t achieve something without constant hard work and determination. It is guaranteed that there will be many hardships on the way to your success.

For instance, your dream is to be the CEO of any company. But being a CEO, you have to put in a lot of effort to work 60 hours per week, make difficult decisions, fire people, and many more. So, if you are not determined and passionate about becoming a CEO the chances of success will get slim for you.

“You have to choose something, you can’t have a pain-free life.”

There isn’t any way of getting success or achieving something you want without determination and struggle. But it doesn’t mean you struggle there, where you are not happy, which doesn’t bring you happiness. So, stop chasing the things that don’t make you pleased. Just chase the fewer things.

Accept your mistakes for a positive change

Haven’t you ever seen those irritating people who say that they are always right? Well, nobody is always right. We all make mistakes in our lives but some people just don’t accept them, they don’t listen if we tell them they are wrong somewhere.

We all have that illusion somewhere in our lives that we are right or wrong. For example, one of the author’s friends got engaged and everyone knows that the groom-to-be is a decent, and friendly person. Except for his fiance’s brother. He simply wouldn’t stop criticizing his sister that he’ll leave him someday or he’ll hurt him. Everyone there was against him including his sister ( the bride-to-be) they tried to make him understand, they tried to make him realize his mistake but he was in his delusion.

So, if you don’t want to be like that brother. You have to accept your mistakes. You have to think again and again about whether you are correct or not. It isn’t as easy to uncover your insecurities as it seems because our fake beliefs cover up our insecurities. Maybe his brother was jealous of his sister’s fiance because she is giving more attention to her fiance than her brother. You have to constantly question your decisions, that’ll disclose your painful truths to yourself. So, you can become a better person by dealing with your insecurities.

Romantic love can be destructive if you don’t control it

You must have heard about the most famous love story of Romeo and Juliet but it wasn’t the happier one, it was chaotic, it involved murder and exile and both ended up committing suicide. This story of love highlights the destructiveness of romantic love. Researchers have shown that passionate and romantic love has a bad effect on the brain most of the time. That is, you experience intense love then at the end you crash. That crash can cause painful consequences. Then your search for intense love, though not necessarily with the exact person but with another starts again-the recipe for pain and suffering.

So, what should you do? Should you stop having the desire for romantic love? Not entirely!

Romantic love is possibly the most profound and intensely felt form of love but it can be healthy or unhealthy depending on how it fulfills the criteria of love. When each partner in a relationship uses their relationship to run out of their problems, that love is unhealthy. And in healthy love, both partners are determined to help each other, and they support each other in solving the problems rather than using the relationship as a distraction.

Learn to control your romantic love and keep it away from being destructive.

Whom I would recommend ‘The subtle art of not giving a f*ck’ summary to?

Those who feel stress and burden in their life, worry about their insecurities and want self-improvement in life.