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Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay Summary – October 2022

Author: Mira Kirshenbaum

Short Summary
Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay (1996) provides readers with the specific skills they need to make an informed decision—and to act upon it. If you’re spending time with someone who is underperforming or not treating you well, this book will help you abandon the relationship before you end up abandoned.
too good to leave too bad to stay
Source: amazon.com

Detailed Summary

Too good to leave, too bad to stay is the first book that helps people decide whether to stay in a relationship or break up and move on. Many of us are stuck trying to make a yes-or-no decision, but Mira Kirshenbaum, the book’s author, offers a third path. He calls that in-between state ambivalence and recognizes that it’s often caused by fear and anxiety. This book provides readers with tools to address their ambivalence so they can move on with their lives or commit fully if that’s what they truly want.

Countless stories from those who have been through all kinds of relationships—romantic and friendly, long-term and brief—illustrate all sides of the ambivalence conundrum. Each chapter provides actionable steps to help readers identify their ambivalence, gather information, and make informed decisions about their relationships. The message of this book is ultimately positive, encouraging readers to trust their gut and go for what they want. And it’s written in an engaging style with lots of humor, which helps readers laugh instead of cry when they’re going through breakups or divorces.

This book is for anyone in a relationship that is a little bit off. This book is for the person who has fallen in love with a great person but loves themselves even more. I would recommend this book to a person who has been in a relationship for a long time but doesn’t know if they should stay or break up and go. This book is for anyone who is too good to leave but too bad to stay.

Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay Key Points

Ambivalence is a difficult position to be in. It’s like being trapped in a no-win situation

The worst position to be in is the one where you are not sure whether you should stay or leave. You have a great relationship, but the job isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. You enjoy your job, but your partner is keeping you from moving on. Ambivalence is a feeling that many people experience at some point in their lives. It can be difficult to know what to do when faced with this dilemma. The first step would be to figure out why you are ambivalent about either staying or leaving. Maybe the job doesn’t challenge you enough and you want more responsibility. Maybe your partner wants kids, and the two of you just can’t agree on when it’s time to start a family.

One must know the difference between being too good for their partner and being too bad for them. There are certain situations where staying in the relationship might be best for both parties involved. And there are other times when it might be best to leave. There are many reasons why a person might be “too good” for their partner. They might be too busy with work to spend time with their partner, or they might have different interests and hobbies. However, there are also plenty of reasons that make a person “too bad” for their partner. They may be abusive, neglectful, or even just not interested in the relationship anymore.

It is important to know the difference between these two situations because it can help you determine whether or not you should leave your partner. If you think that you are “too good” for your partner, then you should look into ways to make more time for them and try to find a balance in your life that works well for both of you. If on the other hand, you think that you are “too bad” for your partner then it is probably best if you left them as soon as possible because they deserve better than what they’re getting from this relationship.

Ambivalence is a state of mixed emotions or contradictory desires. It is the opposite of being certain or having a clear preference

We often find ourselves in situations where we are not sure whether to stay or leave. This is because our brain is trying to weigh the pros and cons of both scenarios and then decide if one is better than the other. But what if there was a way to make this decision easier? The technique is called “mindful weighing”. In this technique, you need to write down all the pros and cons for each option (staying or leaving) on a piece of paper and then put it in front of you so that it’s visible at all times. You will have an easier time making a decision when you can see all the options laid out in front of you.

There are a lot of factors that contribute to this decision and it’s not always clear what the best course of action is. People need to know that they are not alone in their feelings and that many others have been through the same decision-making process. The author discusses how people often decide on something by weighing the pros and cons because they don’t want to be stuck in an ambivalent state. However, this can result in deciding what the person really wanted to do. The author then goes on to discuss what can happen when someone does not decide by weighing pros and cons, and instead leaves themselves in an ambivalent state.

With a diagnostic approach, you can figure out what’s going on and decide what to do next

Do you find yourself stuck in a bad relationship, but don’t know how to break free? Are you feeling like you’re too good for the bad situation you’re in? If so, you may want to consider staying in the relationship. When you have a diagnosis of a bad relationship, you can use that information to make the best decision for yourself.

First, determine what your goals are in the relationship. Do you want to stay because you think it’s worth it? Or do you want to leave because you think it’s not worth it? Once you know your goals, use the diagnostic approach to figure out if staying or leaving is the best decision for you. The diagnostic approach is a way of looking at your current situation and evaluating whether or not it’s manageable. If it isn’t, then leaving is the best decision for you. If it is manageable, then using the diagnostic approach can help you decide if staying is better for your goals.

The diagnostic approach can help you evaluate four factors:

  1. Impact on your life
  2. Impact on your relationships
  3. Impact on your self-esteem
  4. Impact on your ability to achieve your goals

After you understand the situation and what needs to be done to fix it, you can decide whether or not to stay in the relationship. If the prognosis is good – meaning the problem can be fixed without outside help – then it may be worth staying. If the prognosis is bad, though, then it might be best to leave for your own sake.

Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay Quotes

“Fun is the glue of love.” -Mira Kirshenbaum

“When the satisfaction or the security of another person becomes as significant to one as is one’s satisfaction or security, then the state of love exists.” -Mira Kirshenbaum

Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay Review

This book is a great read for anybody who is struggling with a difficult decision. It provides excellent insight into the psychology of why we stay in unhealthy relationships. I would recommend this book to anyone who is trying to make a tough choice.

To whom I would recommend Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay Summary?

  • Anyone who is in a relationship that they are struggling with.
  • Anyone who is considering whether or not to stay in a relationship.
  • Anyone who is a psychology student.
Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay Summary - October 2022

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